Bree!

With the added stress of classes being more demanding (and having more whining in them) this semester. And Mouses moving to Mondays. And just freaking stressed out by personal interactions with people. And worried about stepping on toes and pissing people off and the blah blah blah of everything. As well as work becoming more demanding, and the need to meet more people, becasue I’m tired of friends with no time or being the only single person, or just being judged in general. And my medical problems. I am going underground a little while. I will be still posting on my blog. And still updating flickr. And occasionally updating facebook. But in the flesh Im withdrawing. I kinda give up. I need to do well in my career and in grad school and I have never been socially functional in alot of things and its something I want to ignore for now…

If you need me… call or email. Otherwise Ill prolly see in eventually.

Friday

5-6 pm @work

6:30-8 dinner and reading fun things

8-10 Homework

10-11 BSG!!!

11-12 homework

12 Bed

Saturday

7:30 pissed off Im up on a saturday morning

8:15 leaving for class.

9- 4 Class at U Mass about Journalism and Politics

4-6 Costco

6-7 Dinner

7-10 Homework

10-11 Hot bath.

11 Bed and pissed off I am in bed before midnight on a saturday

Sunday

7:30 Pissed off again that I am up before noon

8:15 Leave for class

9-2 Class at U Mass

3- Pick Sato up at airport

3:30-12 Fun with Sato!!

12:30 Bed

Monday

7:45 up and wondering where my weekend went.

not the bad days, its the good days that get you. When you are at the bottom of a swing you really just cope and evenutally things start to get better. Its the down swing that kills.

Or maybe its the oscillation.

I spent the entire day in bed. Yesterday I slept in as long as I could. I drove V to pick up her car. I went shooting. I watched some battlestar. Its amazing to me that the most depressing show makes me feel better.

I also realized that before I dated duncan I was a badass. I miss being a badass.

So this weekend was filled mostly with sleeping and shoveling.
Seriously.
I didnt get anything done that I wanted to.
And Im not sure how this happened but I have 7 days until classes start up again.

Sigh.

Srsly.

It is far too cold outside for it not to be Hoth. I’m going to freeze before I get to the first marker on the way to work in the morning.

So, I finally figured out why well dressed people always are wearing blazers. Dress shirts are too thin for winter! my god. And well since hoodies are really recomended in the office Im actually wearing slacks and blazers to work. Oh how I long for the days of hoodies and jeans.

But hey, this weekend when I have time I’ll make it pretty.

So I am convinced that I am going to get fired, and I am convinced that Im going to fail out of grad school. But what else is new? actually the fear is deeper this time.