… grad school is still eatting my soul
yeah, so Im a terrible blogger that doesnt update nearly as much as I should. But for the most part its o just a long series of wo my teeth, ow my uterus. read read read writers block. Work work work.
I need adventure
I need to get away
I need the bright lights
and I need the dark alleyways.
I need to go to a club that doesnt open till 11pm I need to hang with freaks.
But unfortunatly, instead I am home on a friday night trying to not avoid writing my thesis, getting horribly depressed by my raw data, and drinking far too much diet coke.
Its prolly for the best. My friends have matured past me again. Its really kind of depressing. Im back to being religated as the wild one that no one hands out with much any more. Hell, I cant even get anyone to go to roller derby with me.
On the upside, this lack of friend bonding has made me not have any good reason to not spend money, and to not be writing my paper. On the down side, come june I will be one lonely sad sack of an individual that came late, and the party is over… or at least moved on. This is the second time … no wait.. third time I have been part of a crowd that has moved on without me. The last time that happened I moved to NC. I dont want to move to NC. Im starting to get that restless useless feelign again and Im not sure if its just that Im undateable, or that Im a complete looser that men really dont want to be seen with… bah.
People keep telling me Im not undatable. yes I have gone on many many many first dates. Im over first dates. Im over hanging out with just women. Im over. Its over. blah. Great, I sound depressed again.
Im not really. Im busy. And lonely all at the same time. And Im frustrated. Im gettig to old to go to bars. But I still want to see the bands. All my friends are in bed by 11. When the hell did that happen?
I need the bright lights,
I need the dark city