Bree!

When my student loans come due I will be paying 350 dollars a month to repay them. *head desk* Seriously. It would cost me the same amount to stay in state run classes until you know I die. Its 1500 a semester for 6 credits. or 350 a month. If Im in classes I get deferment. So, either way 350 is going to get sucked out of me. Dear god this is depressing.

How the hell do people do it? No, really, I want to know. Is this why people pair off? Ugh, I thought there was a glimmer of light with the 10 year forgiveness plan. But I have to do 10 years. I will be 44. And thats only if I stay in non profit education or government work.

i give up I will always be poor. next time someone tells you native americans go to college for free, send them ym student loan bill, wont you?

i hate writing papers. that is all.

apparently the weather has been crappy the entire time I’ve been gone.
It explains why my tomatos still have not ripened.

This gorup project I am working on for class is draining.

I apparently am only speaking in one sentence paragraphs anymore.

It shouldnt be taken personal.

Sigh.

I got the herbal remedies for my boils and cramps in the mail today.

I got a new boil on my butt.

I started watching True Blood. Its amazing what you can find online when it comes to premium cable channels.

Spoke with sato; he seems better.

Sorry about the radio silence, I think this is the longest I haven’t posted in a really long time.

I was busy with school and then I went to Joplin to visit the family for a few days before going up to Nebraska City for a work retreat.

I could bore you with the details.

But I won’t.

Im still a little depressed. Im still a little stressed. And Im still convinced Im going to die alone.

Still no news on the conflict resolution issue. I am waiting for the department chair to get back from vacation. Supposedly she did today…. supposedly.

This weekend was spent curled up in a fetal position cursing my uterus. I swear I hate my ute. And I hate doctors that cant do anything about it.

I missed Ryans going away party.

I hate my org. Beh. Class. Srsly. Its incredibly obvious and boring. I hates it with a low dull hatred that is usually reserved for people who steal my parking space.

I am leaving thursday to go to Joplin KC and Omaha for vacation and work. I have to bring my laptop so I can do homework. I should pack for it tonight.

I know its prolly just the period talking but I am convinced that the world is out to get me and I will die a long painful death at the hands of the overlords.

Ok so thats just the uterus talking. Ugh. Im going back to work.

Ok, so I admit it, even though eHarmony rejected me Im on a few other online dating sites.  Match.com matched me with my housemate, and BNE. I was surfing around okcupid, because Pistons met her BF there. I hit random match. AND BNE CAME UP.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

What is worse, is okcupid lets people see who has checked them out. Even worse, my profile pic is the pic of me BNE took. What? its a good pic.

So, part of my masters program includes taking weekend seminars on special topics. One of my topics this past march was Conflict resolution. It was intresting, there was role play, game theory, negotiation tactics, and a whole lot of earnstness. It was fine. I submitted my “yes I did the readings paper” on the first morning. I was engaged in the discussions. I Even did the extra credit project. I retooled my oka crisis paper, and submitted it as my final paper. Then, I thought it was over.

Fast forward to yesterday, I open my grades. A- Research Methods, B+ Special Workshop 1, A- New England Economic Enviroment,  F Special workshops 2.

WHAT! I have never gotten an F before.

The class was 8 people. EIGHT. Turns out the professor failed 3.  I apparently failed because he never recieved my paper. What?!?!

The Chairs assistant is involved. Im so rip shit its not even funny. Conflict resolution my ass… get me my machete, I dont care if he is lead in the conflict resolution subdepartment. His ass is mine.

I am completely irresponsible. I should be publically shamed. So I am shaming myself on my blog.

Today during my lunch hour, I went to the bank to depost 20 bucks in loose change into my account so I would not bounce anything. Yes. Loose change. Im too old to be doing this.

Up swing. Car has a full tank. Laundry is done. New sneakers gotten. T pass paid. Rent paid. CC Paid. Enough groceries to get me to friday (pay day). enough cash for parking for class. Books for class bought. Ticket home to see the parents bought.

man I hate cutting it this close.

I need to go back onto my budget plan and keep making my damn lunches and crock pot dinners. Ive been wasting too much money on eatting out. I need to get my ass up on time I have been wasting money on parking. I need to stop buying crap I dont need.

More importantly I need to stick to my budget. I am going back to keeping a check book and writing everything down that I spend.

Sigh. Im irresponsible and need to stop thinking money is like snow, that it will flitter in and out of my life.