Bree!

This is the most colorful of the 4 bruises I got from blood draw. Why? cuz my Ute hates me. Yup. And they keep wanting to keep putting me on the Pill. I keep telling them no. It makes me depressed. Very depressed. Almost suicidal depressed. And Id rather be in rediculous pain than on the pill. Why can’t they listen to me. Srsly. They keep making me feel bad. I hate that. I hate doctors who dont listen. I hate doctors that you only want to push pills. If it means that I have to live with pain. I will. I just want to know if there is any other option other than fucking with my hormones.

So, this weekend, Friday I went out with L and it was cripples night out at The Christmas Tree Store. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cPq3_IUGyY For those of you who have no idea what Im talking about.  I got a table for the porch, a bomb ass lounge chair (with cup holder) Showed L her very first hooker as we drove by the Chelsea BadaBing. And left Lube and Candy on V’s doorstep.

Saturday. Slept in. Worked on some papers. Planted  2 tomato plants, a mint plant, a basil plant, a strawberry plant, a green pepper plant, and some peas. Went to the American Indian Center for the election. Worked on paper some more.  Was very sad to be alone.

Sunday. Got a massage. Got a pedicure. Worked on paper.

Oh my kingdom for a life less ordinary

I have an incrediably sore back. Its a combo of end of semester stress.  Office stress. Lifting very heavy things wrong. bad chair. Gas. and sleeping funny. I booked an apointment on sunday for a massage. I pray that it works out. I hurt all over. damn back.

Ryan totally no showed for dinner last night. I hates him.

I have many papers to write this weekend. I dont even want to do that my back hurts so much. But I have to get it done. Stupid end of the semester.

I also have to wash the car, go to costco. and basically try enjoy the lovely weather. Im going to see if I can do most of my writing on the porch tomorrow. I think Im going to need a really long extension cord and a card table.  maybe a trip to home depot is in order this evening

hrmm.

I threw up on the subway on the way to work. And my car hit 100,000 miles.

I spent all day in bed. Alone. I recieved no phone calls, no emails, no txt. It was like I didnt exist

First off, let me just point out how much my abdomen hurts. It hurts alot. Its causing me nausea. Its not helped with Advil. I have called my doctor. I am looking into remedies. Its not helping much right now though. right now I hurt. Im in pain. And Im really cranky. All I want to do is curl up, burry deep into some blenkets, put on movies, anddrink gingerale and eat cookies. But alas, Im at work, trying to do work.

I never see anyone anymore. Makes a girl lonely.I mean really, I never see anyone anymore. I cant remember the last time someone asked me to do something. something they scheduled. Planned and was convient for me. I am tired of being the one that has to make all the plans. I am tired of being the one that has to go to thier place. I am tired of being the one that is the freaking cruise director. Why cant someone take care of/ come see me for a change?

Im tired. Im cranky and Im starting to cry writing this, Im going back to statistics spread sheet. At least it loves me.

So, my period is back. I am convinced my uterus hates me and every 25 days tries to jump out of my body and kill me in my sleep. I am seeing the doctor again about it, but its frustrating becasue they always seem to wawnt to push the pill. The pill makes me (more) depressed. ugh.

If there is such a thing as reincarnation, I am coming back as a boy.

yay! Sato visited yesterday.  I picked him up at the airport, we went to Salem Beer Works. Then to the Silloutte to play pool and drink beer. Um. Sato almost took someone out with a flying pool table ball. Twice. I also learned that he is willing to come down and change my bearrings, springs and brakes for me this summer! wooot!

So Princess was away on maternity leave for the last 4 months, and its was positively blissful. Very little drama. No political manovering. I could go in, do work. Be happy. Monday I have my mid year review, and Im freaked out about that, and Princess is back and shes freaking me out man. Freaking and stresssing me out. I cant do anything right. I cant say anything right. Everything thing I do is wrong. Everything I say is analysed and put under scrutany. It makes me wanna be sad. Ill talk to my boss about it on Monday. Mean while Im going to go take a long bath.

I had garlic garlic with more garlic on garlic toast for lunch, and I got my easter basket today in the mail. WOOOOOT!